Reasons Why Men Should Avoid Valentines Tomorrow

If you're like most men the very thought of valentines should give you a stomach upset it's a defense mechanism in all men and rightly so, here are reasons why you should avoid valentines at all costs. a) She already has an imagination of her ideal valentine's day come up with a half-baked plan and you will be a half-baked man for the rest of your relationship. You will be literally half baked if the woman in question comes from certain regions of the country. b) You're in competition with other males. You'll buy her a rose and another man will be spotted carrying a white teddy bear the size of Mt. Everest, yes your rose in comparison looks a lot like disappointments. c) The battle of the wallet; Money talks but on valentine's day it's supposed to make a statement and nobody ever made a statement with a bank account that looks like Arsenal's trophy cabinet for the past 8 years. d) Promises; if you have been dating for a while this is the day she's expecting you to get down on one knee and pop the question. I would advise you to get down on both knees and ask God to remove the cup of valentine's sufferation from your head. e) You're being graded; and no son you don't have the luxury of a mwakenya because in this case the exam is a woman who doesn't even know what she really wants. You are stuck with an exam sheet that doesn't have exam questions good luck asking your neighbor for answers. f) The idea of carrying a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates around town is not every man's cup of coffee, it's very annoying. God forbid you bump into your boys who you always brag to about how macho you are and how a woman can't tell you anything. That's why we have potholes get swallowed by one. g) PS: You should also stay in hiding because billboards can shoot at you and assassinate you at any time, it's a jungle out there son.